Posted by: dreamerspoetry | March 6, 2009


Staring blankly

Out the window,

Silent tears

Roll down my cheeks.

Shivering violently,

The nurse places

Yet another blanket

Over me.

But nothing

Can thaw the

Ice in my heart.

I see pretty flowers

And hear the birdsong

Outside this window,

But really I’m not

Even aware of it.

All I hear

Is the gunshots,

Someone screaming,

Sirens, and


All I see

Is the blood,

Pictures in my head,

Terror on their face.

I close my eyes

Against the pictures,

Pull the pillows

Over my head.

But I can

Still see it,

Still hear it.

Not even sleep

Allows escape,

For my nightmares

Are reality.

Unable to move,

This heaviness,

So real.

I close my eyes,

Pretending I am normal.

I hear voices,


They are afraid.

I scoff at them,

The little fools.

What do they know

Of Fear?

They don’t think

I’ll make it.

I say they’re right.

I died a long time ago.

I’ve just been

Waiting for the

Rest of me to catch up.

Slipping away,

I embrace the

Darkness that

Envelops me.

Everything so foggy,

Floating away.

I can feel myself


It’s so hard

To breathe.

My heart is

No longer beating,

I feel it lying

Dormant in my chest.

Lungs collapsing,

Blood is slowing.

I can see the

Nurses running,

I can hear the

Doctors cursing.

They try in vain

To bring me back.

And I laugh,

As I slowly die…

-Sabrina Hoddy


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